A Sex Guide For Men and Women


We deal with common sexual problems and issues, which you can read about by clicking on the links below.

Sexual information and advice for men ] How To Overcome Premature Ejaculation ] How To Please A Woman In Bed ] More Advice On Premature Ejaculation ] How to Overcome Sexual Boredom ] Manifestation - The Art Of Getting What You Want ] [ Sexual Arousal In Men ] What Makes Sex Good For Men ] Sexual Arousal and Orgasm In Women ] Sexual Arousal In Women ] Advanced Sexual Techniques ]



Physiology of the Man's Erection and Orgasm

good advice on fitness and sexual healthThe penis is made up of three separate sections, two of them composed of the same kind of tissue, the third of another kind.

The differences between the two kinds of tissue is of biological interest only, because they both react in identical ways, both producing the same result - erection.

When the man is not sexually aroused his penis hangs down limply over the scrotum.

When he is sexually aroused, it swells to a size that is noticeably much larger than its limp size, it becomes hard and stands out or up, more often than not at an angle of 45 degrees to the belly.

Sometimes, particularly when a man is intensely aroused, it becomes so erect that the top side i.e. the side the man sees when he looks down at it when standing, actually touches his belly.

This highly rigid erection most frequently occurs between the ages of 14 and 25; after that, except in highly sexed men, and then not on every occasion, the angle of 45 degrees is the most common penile stance.

This erection of the penis is brought about by blood rushing into the thousands of tiny holes which occur in both kinds of penis tissue. The penis is, in fact, like a sponge.

Like the clitoris it has an enormous circulation system for its size. When the man is sexually roused, blood pours into the penis at a much faster rate than it leaves it, the spongy tissues of the corpora cavernosa and corpus spongiosum fill to bursting point, and the effect of this is both to increase the size of the penis and to make it stiff and erect.

Besides its enormous circulation system, the penis is also extremely generously supplied with nerves, which are connected with its owner's general sexual nervous system.

These nerves are for the most part concentrated in the tip of the glans-penis just below the urethral opening, round and under the rim formed by the head meeting the shaft, and particularly in the little band of skin called the frenulum, by which the ordinary skin covering the shaft of the penis is attached to the underside of the glans penis.

Friction caused by masturbation without a foreskin can result in penetration of the mucus membrane of the penis head by bacteria and fungus which cause yeast infections in men.

Half as much again of the length of the visible penis is imbedded in the man's body under his pubic bone. The two identical sections of the penis, which form its back and sides, curve outwards at their ends within the body, while the third section - which forms the underside of the penis, widens out into a bulb-shaped ending. It is, in fact, referred to as the bulb of the penis.

The tube which empties the bladder of urine - the urethra - passes through the whole length of the penis, and opens at the end of the glans.

It lies under the two identical sections and above the third section, and is enclosed by them. Besides its bladder emptying function, the urethra also serves as the passage for the semen to reach the outside of the man's body. The size of the limp penis has no sexual significance whatsoever.

Its erect size, however, has a significance which is totally man-made, and except in extreme smallness or extreme largeness has no practical significance in sex.

photoof large and small penis side by side to illustrate penile size differencesMany attempts have been made to establish an average penis measurement, and in the Western cultures 6 inches in length and 5 inches in circumference now seems to be the accepted specification.

While 7 and 7+ inch penises are not uncommon, they are readily accommodated by most vaginas without discomfort, but the 8 or 9 inch penis - which very few vaginas indeed could accommodate - is very rare indeed. Similarly, there are quite a large number of erect penises of 4 to 5 inches, but rather fewer less than 4 inches in erect length.

Unless there is a combination of pronounced corpulence with this last figure, even these few inches will allow the penis to be put in the vagina, and this is all that is necessary for male-female sexual intercourse.

So long as there can be penis-friction by the vagina or vagina-friction in the orgasmic platform section of the vagina by the penis, the small penis has the same capability of giving the woman complete satisfaction: without a knowledge of good sex techniques not even the owner of the average or above-average penis can bring a woman to orgasm.

The section of the penis which is imbedded in the body is surrounded by a number of muscles which are connected with some of the muscles in the anal area. Other muscles which also have a sexual connotation are in the area of the prostate and seminal vesicles. The action of these latter muscles is not consciously felt by the man at any time.

The previous group of muscles plays a prominent role in his orgasmic sensations, for it is their contraction and relaxation movements which force the semen up the penis and out of it, and have effect on various other parts of the sexual apparatus during orgasm.

Penile erection can be brought about in two ways - by the action of the brain (erotic thoughts, the production of erotic images and so on), and by direct stimulation of various sets of nerves. Both kinds of erection are controlled from a central complex of nerves known as the erection centre, which is situated in the sacral region of the spinal cord i.e. in the lower portion of the back-bone.

Pressure over this point, once it is located, can add greatly to the man's sensations. Some men are able to produce complete erection of the penis merely by pressing on the spine at the spot where the erection-centre is situated, and all men find this part of the spine very susceptible to stroking, especially during the orgasmic phase of sex after the penis has been put in the vagina.

The erection-centre is vital to erection; if it is damaged or diseased the man becomes incapable of erection.

Stimulated-erection and psychologically-produced erection both involve the brain. In psychologically-produced erection the erotic thoughts and images conceived in the cortex, the outer grey-matter of the brain, send their messages down the nerves in the pith of the spinal cord to the erection-centre, which sends its commands to the penis to become erect.

Stimulation of the sensitive zones sends their messages to the brain through the general nervous system, the brain passes them on by the spinal nerves to the erection-centre which sends it commands to the erection apparatus.

The Sexual Response Cycle

The man has four phases of sexual response parallel with those of the woman - excitement phase, plateau phase, orgasmic phase and resolution phase. Read more about the sexual response cycle here.

Starting from scratch, that is, with no sexual tension present at all, under ideal conditions - and these include absence of physical tiredness and the presence of strong psychological urges - the penis can be brought to full erection within a very short time.

couple making loveThe man does not necessarily have to be directly stimulated, or even stimulated at all; it is sufficient for him to begin his stimulation of his partner to become fully erect in a matter of seconds.

From individual to individual and from occasion to occasion in the same individual, the excitement phase is one of great variation of response.

It seems to be true of most men during their period of most vigorous sexual activity, between the ages of 16 and 35, that in a direct-stimulation erection episode in which stimulation stops immediately full, erection is achieved, and in which there is a complete absence of psychological stimulation, the maximum time lapse between full erection and the return to complete limpness is about five minutes.

On the other hand, so long as there is continual stimulation, either direct or psychological, the erection can be maintained at full rigidity for half an hour or more.

Some fairly highly sexed men, who have induced their own erection by their stimulation or that of their partner can maintain their erection by this kind of stimulation alone for an hour or upwards.

Under direct stimulation, and especially under direct stimulation of the penis, erection can be sustained for half-an-hour at least by most vigorous men, whether average-sexed or highly-sexed.

However on some occasions the same man may find his erection rapidly disappears the moment direct stimulation of the penis stops, despite stimulation elsewhere, or some disappears under direct-stimulation, though it is usually fairly quickly resolved.

The permutations are seemingly endless, so it is impossible to define the male excitement phase in the same cut-and-dried fashion that the woman's excitement phase; for a woman who is brought to full excitement phase can usually be kept there by continuous regulated stimulation.

By contrast a man may often have several excitement phases i.e. he will come to erection, lose it and have it restored several times, before he reaches the plateau phase.

Moving on to the ejaculation phase, the man may well wish to review his command of ejaculation before he has sex.

In most cases the loss of erection will not be complete the penis, while not stiff enough to be able to enter the vagina, will retain a large degree of its rigid size. So long as stimulation is applied, or is restarted, however, erection is restored quite easily.

silhouette of couple enjoying lovemakingMale erection particularly, and the female excitement phase frequently, can be interrupted by a number of factors which have no sexual characteristics at all.

Men often lose an erection in reaction to fear stimulus. (This is great on the science of erections.) Indeed, fear is the most destructive agent of male erection; a threat of the appearance of a third person, a loud noise which startles, unexpected pain, no matter how momentary or comparatively mild can reduce a full erection to complete limpness within two or three seconds.

A change of lighting or a change in temperature can have similar results.

As full erection is brought on, there is a corresponding tension of the muscles in the area of the penis-bulb, which has the effect of slightly raising the testicles up towards the body. At the same time, the skin of the scrotum thickens and the scrotum changes from its pre-excitement slackness to firmness.

As sex continues, the excitement phase is lifted into the plateau phase by the onset of a peak of sensations which remains level for a time.

Once in the plateau phase, erection will be maintained, but once again it is not possible to define the phase clearly.

But if you have any issue with the inability to ejaculate during sex, then you should check out treatment for sexual problems which can restore a normal sexual functioning and enable a timely ejaculation with a normal IELT (intravaginal ejaculatory latency time).

The build-up of tension may be such that the man races towards the orgasmic phase, and in order to keep pace with his partner's less rapid progress towards the orgasmic phase, all direct stimulation will have to cease, particularly direct stimulation of the penis and other highly sensitive areas.

But though the stopping of direct stimulation allows the sensations to subside, the penis will retain its erection.

Direct stimulation may have to be stopped several times during a leisurely session of sex. However, the period of direct stimulation will get shorter and shorter as the plateau phase progresses, and either much longer periods of no stimulation will have to be made, or they will have to be made much more frequently.

As the tension increases and the sensations mount, further changes occur in the penis and scrotum.

Even with an erection so strong that it lifts the penis right up against the man's belly, so that one imagines it has reached its maximum dimensions, as the man comes close to the orgasmic phase a new surge of blood flows into the penis and increases the girth of the head of the penis.

At the same time, the testicles increase in size and are raised even higher.

couple making loveHaving delayed his entry into the orgasmic stage until his partner finds herself at the entrance to her orgasmic stage according to the techniques the couple are using, he may have put his penis into the vagina sometime during the plateau phase, or delayed doing so until the partner, on the threshold of her orgasmic phase, asks him to do so - the man's first experience of orgasmic sensations comes from contractions of the prostate and seminal vesicles.

As I said before, he does not feel these contractions.

All he knows is that the sensations he now feels are an indication that he is on the verge of ejaculation.

Within seconds of these sensations beginning he is brought to the recognizable point-of-no-return, when he feels the contractions of the muscles in the penile-bulb area as contractions.

Once these muscles take over he knows that nothing he can do can delay or forestall orgasm; though this point was actually reached when the prostate and seminal vesicle contractions began.

The initial two or three muscle contractions follow one another in rapid succession. By this time, the first set of contractions has forced the semen from the prostate along the urethra to that part of the tube just before it enters the external penis.

The first one or two muscular contractions send it into the penile urethra, and it is at this point that the man has his first sensation of the actual flow of the semen.

So considerable is the pressure under which the semen now comes, that the second or third muscular contraction sends the semen up the penile urethra at a very rapid speed. It seems to spurt out of the end of the penis simultaneously with the muscle contraction, though there is actually a split second time lag.

Each muscular contraction forces a small amount of semen in the urethra at the base of the penis, and the next contraction forces it up the penis and out. This is why the semen comes out in spurts and not in a continuous flow.

After the first two or three spurts of semen have appeared, the contractions slow down, with a consequent slowing-down in the appearance of the semen.