A Sex Guide For Men and Women


We deal with common sexual problems and issues, which you can read about by clicking on the links below.

Sexual information and advice for men ] How To Overcome Premature Ejaculation ] How To Please A Woman In Bed ] More Advice On Premature Ejaculation ] How to Overcome Sexual Boredom ] Manifestation - The Art Of Getting What You Want ] Sexual Arousal In Men ] What Makes Sex Good For Men ] [ Sexual Arousal and Orgasm In Women ] Sexual Arousal In Women ] Advanced Sexual Techniques ]


good advice on fitness and sexual healthSexual arousal and orgasm in women

The first part of the woman's main sexual apparatus to respond to sexual stimulation is the vagina.

Some time before the clitoris becomes erect and the outer and inner lips swell, the interior of the vagina becomes well lubricated.

Now, there are no glands producing lubricating fluid in the walls of the vagina, but despite the absence of secretory glands in the vagina, nevertheless it is the walls of the vagina that produce this lubricating fluid.

If the woman's Bartholin's glands also produce their fluid in large quantities once they have begun to function in the plateau phase, their fluid added to the vaginal fluid produce the flow that is so copious that it can be seen trickling out of the vagina.

The physical changes which take place in the vagina begin in the two-thirds of the barrel farthest from the entrance.

Gradually this part of the vagina expands in all ways. Lengthways it increases by one to two inches, and in width by two to three times its relaxed proportions. These changes have come about by the end of the excitement phase.

During the plateau phase, it is the turn of the third of the vagina nearest to the entrance to change. It is this part of the vagina that is the "orgasmic platform" because it is the part of the vagina most sensitive to orgasm-sensations. In contrast to the other two-thirds of the vagina-barrel, the concentration of blood in the walls causes them to swell and to reduce the diameter of the barrel by at least one third of its normal size.

The cervix, or mouth of the womb, which enters the vagina near to the far end of the barrel plays a very small role in stimulation techniques but it is subject to "excitement activity". Towards the end of the excitement phase, the whole uterus is pulled upwards.

This upward movement naturally involves the cervix, and has the effect of pulling it up and back, away from the vaginal entrance. It is immediately after this has taken place that the far end of the vagina swells out into a bell-like shape. The cervix remains in this position until after the woman has had an orgasm.

The effect of all the foregoing is to prepare the parts of the woman's sexual apparatus most concerned with the woman's orgasm for the actual orgasm, some time before this climax of excitement is reached, i.e. by the middle of the plateau phase everything is ready.

As the first of the orgasmic sensations arrives quite a lot of activity begins. The orgasmic platform of the vagina - the first third nearest to the entrance - begins to contract and relax with a definite rhythm, in the same way that the penis experiences rhythmical muscular contractions as the semen is expelled during orgasm.

Before the orgasm is complete the orgasmic platform very rarely makes less than four of these contractions, and can make as many as ten, according to the intensity of the orgasm. These contractions always make themselves known to the woman - like the man's incapability of having an orgasm without spurting semen - for without them she cannot have an orgasm.

In more cases than not, however, they are not violent enough for the man to be aware of them via his penis, and this is the reason why the man very often has no idea whether or not his partner has had an orgasm.

But there are probably occasions within the experience of most women when the orgasm sensations are so intense that the man can actually feel the walls of the orgasmic platform lightly squeezing and withdrawing about the lower part of his penis-shaft, i.e. that part of the penis-shaft which is in contact with the woman's orgasmic platform. In highly sexed women these contractions can often be felt by the man.

diagram of female sexual anatomyThese rhythmic vaginal contractions seemed to spark off similar rhythmic contractions in the uterus.

Again, they are within the awareness of the woman, but unlike the orgasmic platform contractions they are not essential for her experience of orgasmic sensations.

The cervix at this time makes no characteristic action. Immediately after the last contraction of the uterus, however, its opening expands, as though it were deliberately making the passage of the sperm into the uterus easier. No change takes place either in the inner or outer labia during orgasm.

Similarly, after the clitoris has reached maximum size and has withdrawn into its surrounding protective flesh towards the end of the excitement phase, it remains unchanged until after orgasm.

As a woman reaches orgasm the muscles in her chest become more and more tense so that she breathes even more heavily than during sexual arousal.

Her heart beats much more quickly too, and thumps against her rib cage. Other muscles also tense and seem to reach their maximum of tension with the first orgasm-sensation.

Though this is true of all women, in some the tension, the speed of the pulse and the breathing through the mouth are not strong enough to become known by the man.

Similarly, some women, though by no means all, have an automatic tendency to make thrusting movements with the pelvis.

When the orgasm-sensations are very intense - and in highly sexed women this can be a normal, almost universal experience - the tension of the muscles in the face force them to make strange grimaces, while the intense feelings at the climax of orgasm make them cry out, or moan, or even scream.

As far back as 1953 Masters and Johnson asked 487 women to explain to them in their own words what they felt personally, and from these reports they have been able to make a composite picture of the general physiological reactions to orgasmic experience.

These reactions, they say, are divided into three stages.

The very first orgasmic sensation - the beginning of stage one - brings with it a feeling of "everything stopping", which lasts for a brief instant and is followed immediately by a sensation of acute and intense excitement centered in the clitoris and from there spreading out into the pelvis. This sensation may be a gradual one or come with such an impact that it has a shock effect.

All other sensations are overwhelmed by the orgasmic sensation at this stage. Many women also experience in this first stage a sense of wanting to bear down and expel something from the body, comparable with the sensations accompanying the later stages of childbirth, though having no painful quality.

Stage two follows without a pause and seems to be a development of the intense sensation radiating from the clitoris through the pelvic area.

This earlier indefinable voluptuousness is now felt as a flush of warmth that begins in the pelvic area and from there spreads to every part of the body. Almost every woman experiences stage two.

When this "suffusion of warmth" seems to have reached every part of the body, there follows a feeling that the vagina and lower part of the pelvis is contracting.

This is the beginning of stage three. Almost at once the sensation of contraction gives way to a sensation of throbbing, which is most intensely felt in the pelvis but also pervades the rest of the body.

It is in this third stage of orgasmic sensation that the first contractions of the orgasmic platform impinge on the woman's awareness. Parallel with its later phase is the awareness of the contractions of the uterus, and at the same time that both sets of contractions are felt, many women become conscious of feeling the pulse beating in the vaginal area. Masters and Johnson devised an intensity of orgasm scale.

If the woman has only three to five well defined orgasmic contractions, they reckon the orgasm as a mild one; five to eight contractions represent an orgasm of average intensity; while eight to twelve contractions constitutes a very intense sexual experience and orgasm.

The fourth phase is the "resolution phase". This is after orgasm has reached its peak of sensation and the contractions have finished.

picture of woman at the moment of orgasmThe sensations of the resolution phase are of a pleasant afterglow of release from tension. The final orgasm sensation brings about the final release from sexual tension and is followed by a tremendous sensation of comfortable relaxation and well-being.

As the sensations die away - and they do this much more slowly in a woman than in a man - the various parts of the female sexual organs which have taken part in the orgasmic experience begin to return to their normal, unstimulated state.

The first organ to return to normal is the orgasmic platform of the vagina.

Within a very short time after the final orgasmic contraction the platform shrinks back to its normal size. The time it takes to do this, however, is generally slightly longer than the time it takes for the collapse of the penis's erection after orgasm has finished.

The shrinkage of the orgasmic platform naturally affects the rest of the vagina which also begins to return to normal.

Five to eight minutes elapse, however, before the vagina returns to its normal size. With the return of the vagina to its normal size, the womb also gradually falls back into its normal position.

At the same time that the major sex organs are returning to normal, the breasts begin to return to normal size. In the orgasmic phase the areola swells so much, and in so doing encroaches on the nipples, that it looks as if the nipples have lost their erection.

After orgasm is complete, however, the areola swelling disappears very quickly, and the nipples have the appearance of having regained erection.

The nipples return to normal at a slower rate than the areola, nevertheless they are back to normal long before the swelling of the breasts themselves, caused by the concentration of blood, which can very often still be observed ten minutes after all orgasmic sensation has ceased.

The last of the major sex organs to return to normal is the clitoris. If the woman does not know how to reach orgasm, though, after the other parts affected by concentration of blood have returned to normal, the clitoris may still be erect an hour after all sexual stimulation has ceased. Finally, the sex flush over the chest is an infallible guide to the attainment of orgasm by a woman.