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On an average between five and eight spurts deliver the bulk of the semen, and the time-gap between muscle contractions becomes longer and longer, until they cease altogether. There may be as much as fifteen seconds between each of the last three contractions. Generally speaking, after the contractions have become slower, the penis begins to lose its erection at once and before the contractions have stopped the penis will have collapsed to a size that is about half as large again as its normal flaccid size. Once this stage has been reached, the full return to normal flaccid size is quite a slow process, which may take anything up to a quarter of an hour or so. On the other hand, if there has been a long session of sex during which full erection has been maintained for most of the time, the penis may stay fully erect for five to ten minutes after orgasm if it is kept in the vagina. In fact, the process of losing erection is always slower if the penis is kept in the vagina after all the contractions have ceased. At the same time, however, it is important to know that the male's resolution phase is much shorter than his partner's.
As the penis returns to its normal flaccid size, so gradually the other organs that have undergone changes return to normal, though they usually take longer than the penis to complete the process. The scrotum begins to slacken and the skin loses its increased thickness. Simultaneously the testicles begin to get smaller and to come down into the scrotum from the raised position to which they were elevated during the plateau phase. Again, the process will be much slower if the sex was prolonged than if it was just long enough for the man to bring the woman to orgasm without a long plateau phase intervening.
During the plateau phase there are very few men whose nipples do not become either fully or partially erect, even in those whose nipples are normally flush with the areola, or are undeveloped, or in those who have never tried stimulation of the nipples and are unaware that they could be sensitive zones. In a good number of men nipple-erection may begin in the excitement phase, but nearly all men go through the orgasmic phase with full erection of the nipples. After orgasm, the nipples lose their erection very slowly; in fact, it is not uncommon for them still to be in a full state of erection one or two hours after sex has ended.
Some Less Obvious Male Sensitive Zones
No man can go wrong if he takes the view that there is scarcely a single part of the woman's body that does not respond to stimulation, provided the right technique for the particular spot is discovered. On the other hand, the average man is not so well provided with sexually sensitive areas as is the average woman. Though this may be so, there can be a number of spots on the man's body the stimulation of which will increase his sexual excitement, but about which his partner may not know for the simple reason that, as with his nipples, he does not himself know that they exist. It is essential, therefore, that the partner should explore every part of her man's body, experimenting with different stimulation techniques, in order to test them for sensation responses, because though a particular spot may never automatically give a hint that it might respond to stimulation, when nearby areas are stimulated, it may respond readily to direct stimulation. Or, a certain spot might be passed over when found to be unresponsive to a certain technique, when another technique will elicit a surprising response.
James was a young man of thirty-two, who had married Elizabeth when he was twenty-four. During the eight years of their marriage, they had made themselves into extremely efficient lovers. For them their sex not only meant a way of telling one another how much they loved each other, it was fun and always exciting. They made it so not only by building up a wide repertoire of sexual techniques and practising many different positions and variations that are not widely known by average lovers, but also by constantly experimenting. They had done this since early marriage and one would have thought that at the end of eight years there would be no new stimulation-technique, no new way of joining their bodies, that remained unknown to them.
One of the positions for sex which they used fairly frequently was the rear-entry one, in which Elizabeth stood leaning forward, but not bent double, her balance kept by her arms supported by her hands on the back of a chair of convenient height. This conclusion to their sex usually came at the end of a lovemaking prolonged at least an hour, during which tension was gradually increased to quite high intensity by a series of highly exciting sexual techniques. They usually reached an explosive orgasm after an hour or so of intense sex.
James had had a period of intensive activity at his business which had entailed his working at top pressure continuously for six weeks, and when it was over, the sudden release from the numerous pressures involved made him realise how tired and jaded he was. Had there been a gradual run-down of tension, he might have recuperated his energies without becoming aware of his mental and physical weariness. Elizabeth first became aware of his condition when, during a session of sex, nothing his partner could do would make his penis become erect. Fortunately they both knew that this impotence was a common reaction in men who have been under strain, and that there was nothing to worry about; but it did impress upon Elizabeth how tired James must be. When he came home the following evening, she told him that they were going to Brighton on Friday afternoon and were not returning until Sunday evening. There was no point in his arguing; she had arranged with her mother to have the children, aged six and four, and had booked a room in a pleasant hotel. James grinned, and said he wouldn't dream of arguing. They arrived at their hotel just after six. After a drink in the bar they went up to their room to get ready for dinner. While Elizabeth was having a bath, James took his clothes off and lay down on the bed, and immediately fell into a deep sleep, from which Elizabeth roused him an hour later, and did so only then to avoid missing dinner. He felt much better and after dinner, they took a walk and returned to the hotel about ten o'clock. After a brandy in the bar they went up to bed, at Elizabeth's insistence.
She was quite prepared for him to want to go to sleep at once, but did not complain when he began to make love to her. Even then she thought that he might want not to prolong the session, but soon became aware that this was what he intended to do. When they mutually decided to have sex, and he suggested rear entry, they found that none of the chairs in the room was just the right height for Elizabeth to be totally comfortable. By the time they had discovered that the top of the desk was most convenient, both of them had lost some arousal, but since James's erection was still firm, they decided to have sex. This had the effect of prolonging the penetrative sex phase beyond what they normally required, and this entailed James making many more thrusts than he usually did. "I was quite a time coming," he wrote, "and I thought that this was probably due partly to the fact that we had had to search for some minutes before we found the right height for Elizabeth and more perhaps to the fact that I had been so tired, and I was prepared for the sort of average orgasm that I usually have if I do have to be more active than usual. I don't know whether this is a common reaction, but I find that if for one reason or another I have to be active for more than say half a minute after I've gone into Elizabeth's cunt, except when we are using the technique of fucking as soon as Elizabeth is ready and go through foreplay with my cock in her - which usually lasts for about half an hour before we are ready to orgasm - my orgasm is not so intense as it is when we don't penetrate until the last moment and then orgasm in a matter of seconds. However, on this occasion it was so terrific I had to make such a noise that Elizabeth was startled!
"I couldn't understand the effect, really, and we talked about it a bit before we went to sleep. Elizabeth thought it was possibly because while I had been on that job though I had been satisfied I hadn't orgasmed really intensely. I thought it might be because we hadn't fucked for four or five days, and when things are normal, we never miss a day, and often have sex on two separate occasions on one day. I thought there might have been a high build-up of fluid, though generally if there is, my orgasm is even less intense than average, and I have to have a second one in a few minutes to feel really satisfied. I put down my having to work quite hard to reach the point-of-no-return to the physical fatigue I was still under, though I was recuperating quickly.
"I don't know why, but when Liz was washing at the basin next morning - I was still lying in bed, watching her - I suddenly found I had an extremely firm erection and that desire was mounting. One of the things that arouses her very quickly indeed is seeing my erect penis if I happen to get up and walk around the room. When I got out of bed, she could see me in the mirror, and only a few seconds of stimulating her breasts made her ready, and I went into her. We make love like this quickly without any preparation sometimes. There is always a kind of urgency at these times, and this, too, seems to make her ready very quickly. Because I have had no preparation I generally have to work quite hard, but usually I hold back for a bit so as to bring her on. I didn't have to hold back this morning, because she came almost as soon as I was in her, but I had to be quite active to bring myself on. Then when I came, it was as terrific as it had been the night before.
"This was even more puzzling, because when we have sex with only a few hours in between I have to have quite a lot of preparation if I want a really satisfying orgasm. Liz knew what had happened, and it was she who gave us the first clue. She had reached orgasm extraordinarily quickly for her, even when she is very excited, and she said that she had felt something she did not remember having felt before. When she reached the point-of-on-return, she had a sensation of warmth beginning in her ankles and spreading upwards through her legs. She wondered if hot pipes went under the floor by the basin, but when she felt the rug, and the carpet under it, there weren't any.
"I went into the bathroom to shave. In front of the mirror in there was a rug on which I stood. And as I shaved I began to be aware of not a tickling but a sort of caressing sensation in the soles of my feet, which was sending a sensation of warmth up my legs, up into my groin, and it was so strong that my penis twitched involuntarily once or twice. The rug was made of very good quality carpet indeed, its pile was very long, but at the same time stiff and springy.
"I hurried into the bedroom to look at the rug by the washbasin. It was identical! Well, to cut short a story that's already a long one, we both discovered, what had never occurred to us before, that the soles of our feet were, in fact, erogenous zones. I would never have believed it because I am normally very ticklish in the soles of my feet. What was happening was that my having to make fairly vigorous thrusts made my feet move almost imperceptibly on the stiff springy pile of the rug, which was stimulating the soles of my feet. The night before Liz hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary because in that position she always orgasms intensely because it allows me to stimulate her clitoris directly after we've penetrated. After we'd experimented again that afternoon, we decided to try to find a similar rug, if our attempts at home were no different from what they usually were. Our bedroom carpet has quite a short, soft pile. It took us quite a long time to find the right kind of rug. Funny thing is, that though I am so very ticklish if anyone touches the soles of my feet, but if Liz rubs a small strip of the carpet evenly across the whole sole of either foot, it doesn't tickle and the sensation is strong enough to bring on an erection. It never fails for me, though, provided I make vigorous thrusts over a fairly longish period. We had good fun working out a new sexual technique."
Stimulation of the big toes is sexually exciting for some men. The stimulation must be carried out by the partner, and is most successful if the toe is sucked. If the hand is used, the whole hand must clasp the toe and make the movements that are used by some men when masturbating. There are those who react to toe stimulation who find the sensation more intense if the mouth is used, or if some lubricant is used on the hand. Don't be put off if the initial sensations are of tickling; it is merely a question of finding the right pressure. Among those who do respond in this way, are men who find one toe sensitive but not the other. If both toes are sensitive simultaneous caressing of both can have quite a devastating effect. In men who do no manual work at all, one or both palms of the hands can be sensitive zones. They are particularly susceptible to caresses with the tongue and light strokes with the finger-tips, but the strokes of both tongue and finger-tips must be not so light as to tickle, or so heavy as to destroy all sensation-response.
Far too many women give up too soon in their search for the partner's erection-centre. It is difficult to give any help beyond saying that it must be located between the base of the spine and nine inches above it. In some men, response is achieved by a light stroking with the finger tips, in others by quite hard pressure with the finger-tips moved in a circular motion.
Quite a large number of men are sensitive in their arm-pits. The stroking should be made with the palm of the hand while the man lifts up his arm. For some the greatest response is obtained if the tips of the under-arm hair is brushed with the palm of the hand; while for others, quick dabs with the tip of the tongue in the centre of the armpit proves most exciting. Women also tend to overlook the buttocks, which is strange, because their own buttocks are very sensitive.
There is scarcely a man who does not respond very readily to light strokes of the buttocks when he has gone into his partner in a position in which his bottom is available to her hands; while a large number find quite vigorous squeezing with both hands, probably in rhythm with their thrusting movements.
But without doubt, the most neglected sensitive zone of all is the perineum, and men are equally guilty here, for women are just as sensitive in this area as men. The perineum is that part between the anus and the vagina in women and from the anus to the scrotum in men. It is very rich in nerves, which are either part of or are directly connected with the sexual nervous system, and in muscles which, in men, are part of the system of contracting muscles that bring about the ejaculation of semen. How many women - or for that matter, how many men, know that pressure about the mid-point of the man's perineum will make the penis erect within a very short time?
Light massage with the finger-tips in slow, deliberate, strokes, produce a rapid build-up of excitement in men and women. Though all men and women are sensitive in the perineum, some are more sensitive than others. In my view, a higher degree of sensitivity of the perineum can be cultivated - as in the case of the male nipples - by regularly applied stimulation techniques. It is useful for men to know that the nerves in the partner's perineum are connected with the lower wall of the vagina, and can be stimulated by the movements of the penis after intercourse if a sex position is adopted in which it is possible for the man to place more pressure on the floor of the vagina than is usual if the angles of vagina and penis are aligned so that the pressure exerted by the penis on all the vaginal walls is equal.
These then, are some of the man's sensitive zones which are either unknown or neglected. There may be in all of us areas sensitive to one kind or other stimulation technique of which we are totally unaware, unless we discover them accidentally, or by experimenting. In my view, experimenting should not stop when the newly married couple have explored each others' bodies sufficiently to have discovered their obvious potential. Experimenting should be a continual activity in every couple's sex lives. For those of more advanced years, sex after 50 and sex after 60 are helpful websites.
The majority of women, particularly those who are average-sexed and highly-sexed, are capable of having two, three, four and sometimes more orgasms in one session of sex, multiple-orgasms. This is quite a revolutionary concept of the woman's orgasm-response, for in the past we men have felt very pleased with ourselves when we have been able to take a woman to orgasm in one session of sex. All women are capable of orgasm - except those, of course, who are psychologically inhibited or physically damaged - and since women can be brought off by one masturbation-technique or another, if a woman can come off by masturbation, she can also be brought off by sex, provided she is subject to adequate stimulation techniques.
Quite a number of women very frequently experience two orgasms, and this has been noted by other sexologists some of whom, however, doubt whether there were actually two orgasms, or whether the second orgasm is merely a continuation of the first in which a higher peak of sensation is reached after a brief drop of arousal after the first. Usually the achievement of the second orgasm comes about in this way - the man took his partner to orgasm with his fingers or mouth, paused for perhaps a quarter of a minute and then put his penis into her vagina and by "holding back" indulged in a prolonged session of sexual thrusting. Often he would deliberately "hold back" until his partner gave all the signs of another orgasm, when he would let go with the effect that in response to his now more vigorous movements she came again before he did, or the sensations of the muscle contractions - which are felt by the man along the whole length of the penis - combined with the semen passing up the urethra in individual concentrations in rhythm with the muscle contractions, were sufficient to tip her over the edge of her point-of-no-return, and she came slightly after him. On the other hand, some women reported that they reached orgasm the second time immediately the penis was put into the vagina, and if the partner thereafter prolonged his movements, they might climax during intercourse third time.
These second and third orgasms are not new waves of the original orgasm, for it was the customary experience of most of the women that the first orgasm was far the most intense sensation-wise. The woman for the most part reported that orgasms subsequent to the first were not so intense as the first. Since it takes much longer for a woman's orgasmic sensations to die away than it does a man's, it was surely possible that this allowed a new climax to be built up very quickly. One of the important differences between men and women in their physical response to orgasm is that whereas the man's glans is very often - indeed, more often than not - so sensitive immediately after he has come off that it is physically painful for even the slightest stimulation to be applied to it (even sometimes by the soft vaginal walls), the woman feels no discomfort from continued stimulation after she has come off, except if direct stimulation is applied to the clitoris-head. The combination of this lack of post-orgasm sensitivity plus her slower speed of return to normal were the two vital factors in making it possible for the woman to be aroused to second and third orgasms. On the other hand, if the second and third orgasms had been new peaks of the same orgasm one could legitimately have expected the second orgasm to be more intense than the first, and the third more intense than the second.
Some researchers say that if a man has had no ejaculation for some days, his first ejaculation after this period of continence will be intensely more pleasurable than his orgasm sensations will be when he makes love every day. They also say that men with multiple-orgasm episodes all say that their first orgasm was more intense than the subsequent ones. They point out that the amount of fluid ejaculated in subsequent orgasms grows progressively less; this, of course, is a provable fact; and they say that the intensity of the orgasmic pleasure is always greater the more fluid that is ejaculated. But this is quite contrary to the personal experience of quite a number of assorted subjects in our survey. All say that if they have not made love for several days, when they are accustomed to fairly frequent love-making, it is true that they do produce a much larger volume of semen than usual (this is because the production of semen is a continuous process). All also say that when their reservoirs are fuller than usual they are much more sexually sensitive, and consequently, no matter how great a degree of control over their progress to orgasm they are usually able to exert, in the episodes with fuller reservoirs they invariably reach orgasm under normal stimulation techniques, in half or a third of the time that they normally do, despite all their efforts to control ejaculation. Without exception they go on that not only is the orgasm then less pleasurable, it is also less satisfying, and a second orgasm fairly soon afterwards, i.e. during the same sex session is needed to relieve the tension to any satisfying degree. The sensations of the second orgasm are always much more pleasurable than the first. Five young men in their early twenties who occasionally need more than two orgasms, and sometimes have as many as five within the space of a couple of hours, say that the fifth - which produces no semen at all to speak of - is always the most pleasurable, though the nature of the sensations seems to be different; "'hotter" is how they describe them.
By studying responses to masturbation, another difference in orgasm-responses between men and women becomes clear. All men know, of course, that no masturbatory technique, however skilful, can produce orgasm sensations of the same quality of feeling, or satisfaction, as sex, though it does not fail to bring an acceptable degree of relief from sexual tension. This is mainly because the psychological reactions of the male to his partner play a very large part in our overall response to physical sex. Women study-subjects all reported that self-masturbation, by whatever technique used, always produced a greater degree of physical satisfaction than orgasm obtained in normal sex. In this connection, they make one very telling point - that the woman can masturbate herself more satisfactorily than a man can who has not been taught to duplicate the woman's technique exactly. This is certainly a point which should be remembered and acted upon. The woman should not hesitate to show her partner exactly those techniques of stimulation, especially of the clitoris, which provide her with the most pleasurable sensation response. This is equally incumbent on the man, for no stimulation technique which he can apply to himself will ever be so satisfactory as those applied by a skilful partner. But women do not naturally and automatically know the spots nor the type of caress which will make her male partner respond to the maximum of his potential. He must show her and tell her.
Men who complain that their partners are poor lovers but who, when challenged, admit that they have given their partners no help in establishing their most sensitive zones and the techniques to which those zones best respond are cheating themselves and their partners of good sex.
Going back to multiple orgasms, they can be induced more practically by the adoption of re-stimulation techniques which do not involve the penis-tip nerves. But what I am really seeking now to underline is that a very large number of men are as capable of achieving multiple-orgasm as are their wives. I am not referring to younger men between the ages of 20 to 35, who much more frequently than is realised, indulge themselves with this type of relief, but men in their forties, and in their fifties, who have kept alive their interest in sex and their techniques up to the mark. Twenty-seven out of the one hundred and fifty-six men between fifty-five and sixty-five who have answered our questionnaire about their pattern of sexual behaviour have stated that they either plan sex episodes to achieve two and often three orgasms between four and six times a year or suddenly feel the need for multiple-orgasm two or three times a year.
The concept of female multiple-orgasm is to be encouraged if only because it would mean that couples would have to get to know one another better than they already do, and anything that does that would be a good thing.
There is probably no other field of human activity in which needs and potential so vary as sexual activity. Some men are coerced by their sexual apparatus into sex every day, often more than once a day, some are prompted by their desires three or four times a week, others twice or once a week, while a minority once a fortnight, once a month or even less. Women are responsive to the same range of promptings, if left to themselves, but are capable of quite a wide range of adjustment - which men are not - providing psychological difficulties do not intervene.
The most one can say to anyone seeking advice on frequency is that seven times a week is right for those who feel the urge seven times a week, two to five times a week for those who are prompted to make love this often. It is, in fact, practically impossible for anyone, no matter what their sexual nature is, to have sex so excessively as to damage themselves. Nature has built into our bodies a number of safe-guards, which come into play as soon as any truly excessive activity is attempted, and forestalls it by preventing the male from functioning as he is required to function in order to enjoy sex naturally. No normal man or woman, of whatever category his or her sex-drive may be, need be afraid of making love too often.
Studies of a group of elderly subjects show that the more frequently one makes love up to the age of 35, the later in life will one be sexually active. It is the fear of having to receive treatment for ED which is the main reason for men withdrawing from sexual activity in their later years. If anyone feels that life without sex at any age is not to be contemplated, they might probably do worse than see to it when they are younger that boredom with sex never overcomes them, and that they will respond to sex as often as their sexual desires signal they should. Certainly it will do them no harm; very likely it will do them a lot of good.