A Sex Guide For Men and Women
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Sexual Development In Men
Early Sexual Behavior
From indications provided by the sample, though masturbation does sometimes begin simultaneously with the realization of the sexual significance of erection, more generally active masturbation occurs six to twelve months after this discovery. All the sample had masturbated, but there was one man of 28, who had been to a public school, who did not begin to masturbate until he was 22, when he read his first sex-manual. He had been given sex instruction at 17 by his housemaster, but he does not remember the master making any mention of masturbation. On the other hand, he fully understood the mechanics of sexual intercourse. With the exception of this young man, all the rest of the sample, that is 99.6%, were engaged in masturbation by the age of 16.
The age-group in which masturbation most commonly begins is the 10 to 13 (58.7%). Of the other age-groups, the 7 to 9s (4.3%) is the smallest, with the 14 to 15s giving 23.8% and the 16s,12.8%.
The discovery of masturbation by the boy himself is more common than initiation by a friend - 57.1% as against 42.9%. Of those who discovered it for themselves, 83.3% never subsequently participated in mutual masturbation. All the 16.7% who did, did so over a period of three to four years between the ages of 14 and 18.
As is perhaps to be expected, 70.5% of those initiated by a friend took part in mutual masturbation over a period of three to four years between the ages of 12 to 19. No man in the sample engaged in the activity after the age of 19.
Of the complete sample, 39.7% participated in mutual masturbation, most of them over a period, which tends to discourage the view often proclaimed that 'most adolescents go through a period of homosexual contact'. On the other hand, there is strong support for the view that such homosexual contacts as are made do not necessarily lead to permanent homosexuality, for all of the 39.7% of the men here were either married, engaged to be married, had a steady girlfriend, or were having a sexual relationship with a girl at the time they answered the questions.
The figures for the frequency of masturbation appear to prove conclusively that the old bogeyman of masturbation becoming a habit does not exist. If boys respond to their sexual urges as adults do, they appear to prove equally that the contention that sexologists tend to bandy about that human beings are most sexually active in their late teens and early twenties - an argument picked up by those who support pre-marital adolescent sexual intercourse - to have no basis in fact. The figures provided by the sample are as follows:
Masturbate less than once a week 19%
In order to provide some guide by which the strength of the adult sex-drive may be gauged, sexologists in general work on three main classifications which are based on the frequency of intercourse performed by those between the ages of 30 and 45, the period when men and women are reckoned to be at the peak of their physical, if not their intellectual powers. The largest number of these people, which is taken as the mean, all enjoy sexual intercourse to orgasm between 3 and 5 times a week. They are designated the average-sexed. Those who have intercourse less than twice a week are designated low-sexed, while those who have intercourse daily and more frequently are designated highly-sexed. Though it has been difficult to give comparative figures for the low-sexed and highly-sexed, sexologists have believed that the highly-sexed are the somewhat smaller group, and that each is small compared with the average-sexed.
Now, if the sex-drive of adolescents were stronger than that of adults, one would expect to find masturbation frequencies considerably higher than intercourse frequencies in adults. But working on the frequency basis, what do we actually find? That by far the greatest number of adolescents fall within the frequency group which corresponds exactly to the adult frequency of 3 to 5 times weekly, i.e., the average-sexed; and that the remainder also fall within the two other adult frequency ratings precisely - once a week and less, and once daily and more, i.e., the low-sexed and the highly-sexed, the figures for these two groups being considerably less than for the 3 to 5 times weekly group. Thus the whole pattern of adolescent masturbation follows precisely the pattern of adult sexual intercourse.
Low-sexed adolescents 27.3%
Which is just what one would expect to find if one were classifying a group of adults by frequency of sexual intercourse. There are further indications which support both my argument and the patterns. One of these is the frequency of erotic dreams with orgasm in adolescents.
In the low-sexed adolescent group the frequency of erotic dreams gives an average of one in two to three months; 17.6% of this group never experienced such dreams at all. In the highly-sexed group, 63.6% had no erotic dreams, while the average frequency for the remainder was once a month or six weeks. In the average-sexed, 79.4% had erotic dreams on average five times a year, and the remainder once a month or five weeks. In the highly-sexed group, only two could recall having erotic dreams on three or four occasions, and then only during periods of lower masturbatory activity. (The frequency of erotic dreams is regulated by the strength of the sex-drive and the frequency of masturbation. If, for example, a man with an outlet frequency of 4 times a week masturbates only once a week, he may expect to have an erotic dream sometime during that period. Since the highly-sexed as a rule respond to their sex-drive with masturbation or intercourse in a variety of sexual positions more regularly than the average-sexed, this accounts for the very low frequency of erotic dreams among the highly-sexed adolescents.) This pattern of adolescent erotic dream frequency corresponds precisely to the adult pattern of erotic dream frequency between the ages of 30 and 45, to which the frequency of intercourse pattern, as I have said, applies.
Furthermore, in all groups where the young man is now either married or has the opportunity for regular sexual intercourse, the intercourse frequencies more or less coincide with the masturbatory frequencies.
To sum up, it would appear from the data supplied by the sample that adolescents are not more sexually active than are adults. The question, Were you ever warned as a boy not to masturbate? brought disquieting results. Only 61.5% had not been warned. This was on the right side, but among those who did receive a warning (38.5%) fewer than half (45.9%) were in the oldest age-group (28s). One might have felt able to make some excuse for the 28s mentors giving such warnings, until one remembers that the 28s were reaching puberty in 1956, by which time sexologists were strenuously publicizing the naturalness and harmlessness of masturbation.
But what I find really distressing is that among the 54.1% of the younger groups, the majority (55%) who were warned were in the 22 to 23 group, who reached puberty in 1961 to 1963; and equally distressing that among the principal perpetrators of the warnings should be schoolmasters at preparatory and public schools. For the group 22-23 schoolmasters accounted for 81.8% of the warnings. In the complete group who were warned, schoolmasters maintained their eminence in teaching foolishness about sexual matters.
Some of the warnings issued were: You will run dry.'
(By a nanny.)
The warnings engendered in the majority (79.1 %) feelings of guilt; some of these feelings have persisted, but some boys were able to see the illogic of the pronouncements.
'I was caused physical and mental stress until I came to the conclusion that the prohibitions were nonsensical.'
'At first, I cut down on masturbation; then luckily
I realized it was all rubbish.'
'I tried not to, but didn't often succeed, and after I felt very ashamed.'
'I tried not to for a couple of days, but couldn't manage it. I had always felt a little guilty, but after this I felt terrible. If I do it now (he is 22) I still have the same feelings, though my fiancée does it for me, and it's no longer a "Solitary vice" as my father called it.'
Yes, I tried not to. Naturally I failed sometimes and felt guilty about it until it happened again. I lived in a constant state of guilt.'
'I tried very hard not to. Sometimes though, the desire was so great I couldn't help it, and afterwards I felt terribly guilty.'
'I tried not to for a day or two, but I remember getting so worked up physically I just had to do it, and I cried all the time I was doing it for being so weak. I felt very guilty whenever I did it after that. it was sheer bloody mental agony.'
'I was sure he wasn't telling the truth. Nothing so pleasant could be wicked or harmful physically.'
'I don't know why, but when nanny told me I'd run dry I was sure she was talking rubbish.'
'No I didn't try. I'd read in a book shortly before that what he was saying was not right, and I didn't respect him much any way.'
'No I didn't want to try to give it up. I liked it too much. I thought when I got married I shan't have to do it, and I'll make up then for being a sinner now.'
Dating - when does it start?
The most popular age group for making the first date was the 14 to 16, with 44.4%. They are followed by the 17 to 19s, with 28.5%. There were, however, quite a number of precocious datings by the 12s and 13s - 15.8%. The remainder had had no experience of a girl until they were well in their twenties; the oldest was 28, whose fiancée was the first girl he had 'ever been out with'. (Each of these age-groups included all the sample age groups; there was no indication that boys are dating girls earlier these days.)
Parents anxious about their daughters' virtue are worrying unnecessarily, and parents who have confidence in their sons behaving 'honorably' - ie not sexually - are not misplacing it. In the first two age groups - 12 to 13s and 14s to 16s - 28.9% had no physical contact at all on their first date. For 50% kissing was the only contact; 18.4% indulged in light petting, mostly described as stroking over clothes (all in this group were 15 and 16); while the remaining 27% (all 16s) engaged in fondling and mutual fondling of the genitals. At least two of the girls in this group were the seducers: 'She came into my room in her parents' house in the middle of the night and got into bed with me. I was scared stiff. She became aware of my erection and asked to see it. She said she had fallen in love with it, and I was terribly embarrassed, the more so when I ejaculated after a few seconds.'
In the 17-19 group, 41.1% had no physical contact at all, while the same number went no further than kissing. Light petting was indulged in by 17.6%, and the remaining 2.2% engaged in heavy petting to mutual orgasm. These last were 18- and 19-year-olds. Of those boys who had physical contact of one sort or another, the majority - 78.9% - had favorable reactions from the girls. Among the remarks are such phrases as:
The remaining 21.1 % found their partners:
It is generally believed that the majority of boys boast about their teenage 'conquests' to their friends. The analysis of the sample's answers shows that 57.1% did NOT talk about their teenage relationships, let alone boasted about them; and of those who did, half did so only occasionally with very close friends. This must be quite reassuring for girls.
In the information provided by the answers to questions designed to
elicit a pattern of actual sexual experience in the young
Let us clear out of the way the modern young unmarried man's experience of sex workers. A little more than one in five (22%) of the sample had visited a prostitute, but only two men had repeated the experience. The majority (71%) were in the age-group 17 to 20; the remainder in the age-group 21 to 25. (As has been suggested by most of the social commentators, it is married men who provide prostitutes with the bulk of their livelihood.) Only a few seem to have planned the experience; most were under the influence of the party-spirit or alcoholic euphoria; most found it a very disappointing experience, both financially and gratification-wise.
The question, "How old were you when you first saw a naked girl or woman?" (excluding sisters and mother), revealed an interesting situation. The majority (36.5%) did not see a naked woman until they had passed the age of 20. For 33.3% of them the first woman was their wife after marriage and for 7.3% their fianc6e on engagement. At the other end of the scale were the Pre-puberty group with 17%. In the early teens group, the 14s to 16s, the figure was 241%, and in the late teens group, 17s L was 22.2%. By and large, therefore, a boy does not glimpse a naked woman until he is adolescent, and most until hey have reached young adulthood.
13% of the sample, ranging between the ages had not had intercourse at the time they answered the questions. For 15.8% the first experience of sexual intercourse was on their wedding night - 90% of these were in the 28 age-group.
For 22% a prostitute provided the first experience, while for 16.4.% it was the fiancée. For the remaining 33%, a casual girlfriend was the first in the field. The earliest age for first sexual intercourse was 15.
for the 'casual girl-friend' group are as follows
Only roughly one-third of the total sample could be termed promiscuous, which is low for a permissive society. Of the 87.3 % of the sample who had experienced intercourse while uncommitted bachelors, engaged or husbands, 45.2% found that the experience did not live up to expectations; on the other hand, 1.9% found it better than they had expected it would be. Is there a moral to be drawn from the fact that more than half found it disappointing I wonder? Ought we to give our young men practical instruction in the art and skills of lovemaking before they are tempted to experiment? Fortunately, their instincts were stronger than their psychological reactions and they persevered. It is reassuring to know that 69% used a contraceptive during their first intercourse, but 31 % (almost a third) is still too high a figure for those who did not. Perhaps boys are as careless about sex as some girls suggested.
Early Sexual Intercourse
In a boy's early relations with girls the caressing techniques are almost bound to be somewhat unsophisticated. He is attracted to her breasts, and only when he is bolder will he give rein to his curiosity and explore her vagina. It is somewhat surprising, therefore, to discover that even when the couple were engaging in sexual intercourse, many of them limited their caresses to kissing. From the answers given, three categories of caresses emerge - (a) kissing, (b) kissing and fondling of breasts and (c) kissing, fondling of breasts and of the vulva. The percentages in the respective categories were: (a) 30% (b) 52 % (c) 20% figures which tend to show that the majority of boys are not sexually as bold as we have the impression they are. As one would expect, when the boys only kissed them, the girls could hardly be expected to return bolder caresses, and in category (a) reciprocated kissing was all that happened. In category (b) nearly half the girls also went no further than kissing, while the other 53.5% stroked the body inside the shirt, the neck and face, nibbled an ear and so on. Only 1 in 7 advanced to what one young man described as 'some rather inept handling of my penis' and 1 in 25 to masturbating the boy.
In category (c) even where the boy caressed the vulva 1 in 4 of the girls got no further than kissing. The remainder, however, did caress the penis, but only 1 in 10 of these responded with masturbation to orgasm. These figures could hardly be expected to stand up to modern scrutiny - no mentions of oral sex at all, for example. We shall review modern figures for comparison on another page of this site. By the way, gout and other forms of arthritis may well prevent you from enjoying good sex. Click here to check out effective and dpowerful remedies for gout for men and women.
Post-engagement Sexual Experience - Men and Women
In view of the weight of opinion in favor of pre-marital sex and the
rejection of virginity by 51% of girls and 44% of boys, it is not
surprising that 69% of engaged couples indulged in intercourse. Of the
remainder, 19% participated in heavy petting to mutual orgasm, and the
rest (12%) in mild petting. Sexual intercourse and heavy petting on this scale
are, I suggest, new trends in engagement behavior. There is, without
doubt, a greater understanding of the basic sexual needs of human beings
among the young generation, and when a couple have agreed to marry,
provided that a sense of responsibility accompanies the behavior, the fact
that the majority of them sleep with one another cannot be antisocial
behavior. Such a sense of responsibility is demonstrated by the following