A Sex Guide For Men and Women

We deal with common sexual problems and issues, which you can read about by clicking on the links below.

[ Other Aspects of Arousal, Orgasm and Ejaculation In Men ] [ Sexual Arousal In Women ] [ Sexual Arousal and Orgasm In Women ] [ Sexual Arousal In Men ] [ Sexual Arousal, Orgasm and Ejaculation In Men ] [ Erection Problems ] [ Orgasm During Sex For Women / Sexual Boredom / Infidelity ] [ Masturbation and Its Problems ] [ Oral Sex and Its Problems ] [ Advanced Sexual Techniques ] [ Advice For Men ] [ More Advice For Men ] [ Sexual Muscles, Fitness Of The Pelvic Floor Muscles ] [ Sexual Fitness ]

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Satisfying Sex: Improving Your Orgasms

Until the penis begins to twitch, you can always choose whether you want to prolong or intensify your sex. But the first sign of orgasmic release in the man means intercourse is due to end, and you might as well end it vigorously!

Orgasm movements

Most couples finish off in the woman-on-her-back posture at first, even when they have stayed in another posture throughout the earlier stages of the episode. In this position, the man's instinctive movements prove quite effective at providing a powerful orgasm. The woman's instinctive movements also contribute during moments of passion. Most women start in the early days of sex by holding their backs almost rigid as they bounce up and down in bed at climax time, almost withdrawing their genitals beyond the man's range. Their hips tend to roll back into the position which would be ideal for approach from the rear, coinciding with the primitive mammalian pattern, rather than forward into position for face-to-face sex. This primitive response should not be confused with withdrawal, nor need you alter it deliberately.

The synchronous rocking or rolling motions of the earlier stages of sex prove quite effective at climax if you adopt a somewhat livelier rhythm. The main muscle's used are those of the buttocks rather than the abdomen or spine, and the body action rolls the genital area in a back-to-front arc rather than lifting the whole body off the bed. By keeping the woman's hands on the man's hips, she can usually stay in some kind of rhythm with him even at his most rapid peak of climax thrusting - three or four rocks for each thrust if he keeps a slow beat, one or two if he speeds up faster, or even one for each three or four thrusts if he takes to short and rapid strokes of his penis in her vagina. If he threatens to reach a premature peak of pleasure and emission of semen, she may even be bale to slow him down.

Orgasmic genital twitches and other ways to enhance orgasms

Twitching of the penis through contraction of the muscles at its base can often boost her orgasm and if she goes into orgasm before you are entirely ready for a simultaneous climax, this trick will intensify her pleasure considerably.

Pictures taken inside a woman's vagina during orgasm show that intense waves of muscular motion pass along the vaginal barrel during each climactic peak. Kegel exercises undoubtedly make those natural movements more intensive with increased satisfaction to both parties (especially to the man). However, there is no need to contract the vagina deliberately during a mutually orgasmic episode: nature accomplishes this goal for you.

On the other hand, a run of lifting-type muscular contractions sends an extra pulse of feeling through both partners, and adds very pleasant variety to a mutual climax. Both straight contraction of the vagina and wavelike voluntary movement can heighten the male climax. Your sex climax comes about through stimulation of nerve endings, most of which are identical with pain fibers in your skin. The few non-pain nerves respond to temperature change rather than to touch or pressure. Therefore, caresses which stimulate pain nerves in sexually sensitive areas actually boost your climax more effectively than any others. A stinging slap on the back or buttock makes a most effective climactic caress. Without being so heavy handed as to risk injuring your partner, you can get a broad area of his skin tingling with climax-boosting nervous discharge in this way. Raking his back and thighs with your fingernails has a similar effect.

Many women respond very keenly to clutching of the buttocks or thighs just at their sexual climax. Love-nips of the neck, shoulder and chest, or pinches of the abdomen, buttocks and thighs sometimes spur members of either sex to new heights. Surface-layer pinches of the scrotum sac spur many men along the path to ecstasy and can make his orgasm very intense. Many of these caresses border upon injury and call for reasonable restraint. Your partner's feelings are no guide, since they may draw away or squeal resentfully even while the sexual pleasures which your slap or pinch excites brings him or her to ever-expanding ecstasy. Like a cold plunge on a hot day, the stimulation is often worth the initial shock, and you must judge from the total effect on your partner's sexual response rather than from his or her impression of the particular means you choose to add pleasure to their orgasm!

After a few months of sex, you will find that most episodes yield fairly intense satisfaction. Different positions and approaches keep these pleasures fresh. But occasionally, one of you (especially the man) will yearn for something special - something different, something intense, something to reawaken sexual interest and enthusiasm. If your partner shows signs of tapering enthusiasm or slow arousal, or if you just want to give him a special thrill on some festive occasion, a climax boosting trick may prove worthwhile. These tricks all involve some element which makes them too complex to give while in the grips of passion, so that you must be willing to give up much of your delight to supplement your partner's.

Freezing cold against your skin stimulates both pain and temperature nerves, which are exactly the types of fiber which trigger your sex climax. The ice special takes advantage of this fact. Before intercourse, the woman places at the bedside a bowl of crushed ice or a handful of cracked ice wrapped in a wet towel. Both partners strip and enjoy sex in any face-to-face posture with the man on top. As the man starts his final surge to climax, the woman picks up a handful of crushed ice or the cold towel - and, just as the paroxysms of orgasm start, she jams the ice-cold poultice against her partner's crotch and keeps it there throughout his ejaculation.

This works well in reverse also, with the woman astride and the man performing the maneuver. In this position, however, the technique calls for a perfectly timed, mutual climax: the icy flood involves the man as it cascades off the woman, and often upsets his erection if it hits too early. If you use ice on a preliminary female orgasm or if your timing sometimes is a bit off, use a method which avoids run-off. You can chill your hand in the ice bowl, then boost your woman's climax with the chilly hand instead of with the ice itself, for instance.

As the man hits his orgasmic peak, the woman can press her bunched fingertips firmly into his flesh just at the back of his scrotum in a firm jiggle; pressure upon this spot sends him on an ecstatic whirl. The urinary passage also has intense sexual sensitivity in most women. The man can press this and portions of the vagina which rarely get direct stimulation down into range of the surging penis with a special maneuver. Toward the end of intercourse in the woman's-heels-on-man's-shoulders posture, he puts one hand against her lower abdomen just above the pubic bone and presses firmly down toward the pelvis, pushing her abdominal wall and attached structures down toward the inner end of her female organ. As his woman hits her climax, a rapid rotary movement of his hand adds further to her orgasmic pleasure.

In couples where feminine passion runs high and the man's normal sexual capacity barely meets his woman's requirement for orgasms, the waste of masculine capacity in a one-sided climax often leaves her with unmet needs later. If he forgoes his orgasm without a male climax he will be ready for further service soon.

Female sexual excitement usually proceeds in waves, building and subsiding until it reaches a high peak from which abrupt subsidence through orgasm leaves you utterly replete. However, any high-peaked wave will pass and leave a trough of subsiding feeling, provided stimulation does not bring another wave into being before the first dies down.

If you plan an episode with gradual subsidence (which some couples find quite satisfying as a sort of dress rehearsal for orgasmic sex), you probably should try it first on a holiday morning: holiday because you need to take as much time as nature demands, and morning because the best way to keep from getting excited again immediately is usually to get out of bed and busy yourself with other things.

A casual brush against your partner's thigh during the night will otherwise revive your interest with a bang, before your partner hardly gets a chance to get awake. Approach from the rear while lying on your sides has some advantages for long-sustained sexual contact, although some couples lie face to face in order to enjoy more conversation and caress. Take your long pause and early, lightly penetrating thrusts until you have the urge to ejaculate well in hand, then sustain yourself on the plateau of sexual arousal for several minutes. At first, most couples cannot hold an erection for more than three or four minutes without more movement than the man can resist, but many ultimately achieve very prolonged periods of penetration without ejaculation. After a few minutes, you will feel impelled toward increased movement, an interval of advance-and-retreat sex play or some other form of intense stimulation. If you resist this impulse, it will gradually subside. At this point, you can cease moving and withdraw the penis partly or all the way. When you feel fully calmed, break contact.

Some couples consider the afterglow of a mutually orgasmic episode one of its most pleasant elements. They linger in conversation, intimate embraces and caress for an hour or more after intercourse. Others find the desire for sleep overwhelming, and separate after a few moments of murmured appreciation. The least a man can do is to communicate his feelings in embraces and caress, and perhaps in words of appreciation and regard. A woman who has built up a head of passion which her man was unable to requite deserves a further push to climax through oral sex or masturbation, or (if she has not come quite close enough for that) a prolonged period of embrace and gentle caress designed to let her down easily.

As soon as orgasm has passed, touch nerves resume importance. Climactic caresses, which stir pain fibers, become inappropriate. Afterplay is gentle, slow in rhythm, with few surprises; surface stroking and soft kisses play more part than violent, excitement-building frictions.

Once a male climax begins, you might as well boost it with instinctive or deliberate movements and caresses. Both man and woman should give their body movements free rein during early passion-spurred climaxes. The woman should try to replace instinctive lunging or stiff-backed bouncing with rocking or rolling movement of her hips. In positions allowing synchronous couple movement, she should keep one hand on her man's hip or buttock as a guide to his rhythm. Most couples find that a slow, long male stroke with several female pulses along its course gives a fascinating beat, but dozens of different rhythms are possible. After a little preliminary practice, most men and women can learn to twitch, lift or squeeze the genitals independently of body movement. These techniques help during all stages of intercourse, but lead to especially helpful stimulations at the climax. The woman gains sexual proficiency from practicing certain of these movements even if she does not consciously apply them during intercourse, since the exercise-strengthened muscles contract automatically during her instinctive spasms. Just as your hands should remain busy throughout the crescendo, so should they also heighten your partner's climax (and your own). Non-injuring methods of stimulating pain nerves such as the slap, the scratch, clutching, love-nips, and pinches add stimulation identical to that provided by genital friction. On a few special occasions (not too frequently, because these should be big events), you can use either ice or urinary passage pressure for an ecstatically-boosted orgasm.

Instead of boosting the orgasm, you may sometimes decide to replace it with tapering, soothing embraces. Sex on which she is left high require extra manly attention, either in loving embrace and expression of gratitude, in orgasm-producing supplemental stimulation, or in tapering love play. The quiet, much-loved feeling of after-intercourse embrace deserves enjoyment, too. Don't leave this pleasure undiscovered by always going right to sleep.